Dr. Noelle Nelson

Dangerous Relationships
How to Stop Domestic Violence before It Stops You (Insight Books)

"A powerful and important book! People in love tend to overlook, rationalize and justify unhealthy behaviors and patterns. This book will help shake them out of that fantasy by giving both men and women the awareness they need to spot a potentially disastrous relationship. Dangerous Relationships could be a lifesaver."

- Susan Forward Ph.D, author, Men Who Hate Women & The Women Who Love Them, and Toxic Parents


Dangerous RelationshipsMost of us think that domestic violence only happens to other people. It's something “out there” that you hear about on the evening news – until it happens to you. Then it becomes something appalling, terrifying and undenibly personal.

Unfortunately, it can happen to you. The statistics are painful: an estimated 4 million cases of domestic violence incidents annually, or one assault every 15 seconds . Domestic violence, also unfortunately, is an equal opportunity horror. Domestic violence can happen to anyone at anytime. Domestic violence does not respect age, gender, or sexual preference. Parents have hit their children, children have beat up their parents, wives have knifed husbands, husbands have battered wives, brothers have hacked away at sisters, sisters have knifed brothers. Cousins, uncles, aunts, live-in mates, girlfriends, boyfriends, all have been party to or victim of domestic violence.

Domestic violence isn't just about physical battering. Some of the most long-lasting consequences of domestic violence come from emotional and psychological abuse . Once someone has been battered, emotionally and/or physically, healing is often slow and difficult, and recovery is not just “when the bruises fade.”

The problem with a violent or abusive domestic relationship is that it doesn't start that way. Most relationships that end up in domestic abuse/violence start off as any non-violent relationship does - with kind words and passion, togetherness and devotion. It seems impossible to know the difference between the violent and the non-violent until it's too late. Fortunately, that's not so.

A violent/abusive domestic relationship is a type of relationship that fosters the development and occurrence of abuse. The violence that erupts comes out of a larger pattern of abusive behaviors, which are readily identifiable and can be used as early indicators of possible future violence. That's why Dangerous Relationships: How to Stop Domestic Violence Before It Stops You takes a preventative approach to domestic violence by answering the question, “What can I do to avoid getting into a violent/abusive domestic relationship?”

Knowing what to look for and how to uncover a potentially abusive relationship before it ever gets to the physically violent stage greatly diminishes your chance of becoming a victim of domestic violence or any related domestic abuse. Dangerous Relationships clearly describes the seven warning signs attributed to these types of relationships, and tells you how to proceed once you recognize these warning signs.

Dangerous Relationships systematically tracks and defines the characteristics of the potentially abusive relationship through the development of 4 very different real-life scenarios:

  • Mary and John (boyfriend and girlfriend )
  • Bob and Karen (husband and wife)
  • Peter and Tony (homosexual lovers)
  • Teri and Ann (platonic roommates)

The situations discussed are composites of real events and real people. They represent the most common relationships involving domestic violence. As different as these relationships may appear on the surface, they are actually very similar in their underlying dynamics.

Dangerous Relationships will help you see the way to a healthy love – the kind that doesn't include visits to the emergency room.

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More Praise for Dangerous Relationships :

"An important book for every woman who has had an abusive relationship,or who is newly into a relationship in which there are warning signs surrounding control and power. Dr. Nelson has made it quite clear that the pattern can be discovered early in a relationship, and that a woman can get out before she gets hurt."
- Sherry Simmons, Executive Director, The Support Network for Battered Women
"I would highly recommend this book to anyone who may be in a violent relationship, or to a relative or close personal friend who has concerns about the safety of someone they love."
- Diane P. McGauley, Chair, Texas Council on Family Violence, www.tcfv.org

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Read the insightful First Chapter of "Dangerous Relationships"

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